In a vibrant and deeply emotional ceremony today, TAFE Queensland proudly celebrated the success of its first, and possibly only Indigenous graduate of the year, skillfully deflecting attention from the thousands who quietly dropped out along the way.
Dean Gammon, a proud Johnny-Come-Lately from Tamworth was showered with applause and carefully choreographed photo opportunities after successfully completing the First Nations Pathways to Policing Program and becoming a Police Liaison Officer.
“This proves our commitment to Indigenous education” said a smiling spokesperson, quickly stepping in front of a sign reading, ‘Retention Rate: Don’t Ask’.
Behind the scenes, TAFE Queensland’s PR team scrambled to ensure that no media outlets mistakenly wandered into the adjoining hall, where hundreds of Indigenous students were quietly handing back textbooks, exiting through doors marked “Cultural Support: Coming Soon”.
One former student remarked:
“I didn’t realise cultural support meant getting an occasional email about Reconciliation Week. If only I had been Karren – I hear she got a T-shirt.”
Asked about their plans to support Indigenous students more broadly, TAFE Queensland confidently responded:
“We’re currently reviewing our ‘One Graduate at a Time’ strategy and may consider increasing our annual graduate count to two within the next decade.”
In the meantime, Dean’s remarkable success will remain front and centre as proof that if one Indigenous student can succeed, it technically counts as a win… even if the system fails everyone else.
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