Mob Says “Send Help, Not Cops”, Parliament Says “We’ll Workshop That”

ADELAIDE – Indigenous organisations are backing a push for South Australia to fund care-led alternatives to policing, saying too many social issues are being handled like they’re a crime scene.

Advocates say it’s not radical: send the right people first (health, housing, mental health, youth workers) so situations de-escalate before they become headlines. Government responded by asking whether “right people” can be procured via a panel contract.

A spokesperson said the state is committed to safety and dignity, and will consider “all options”. They clarified the options include: more policing, more policing with a new name and a pilot program that lasts 12 months then gets described as “inconclusive”.

The campaign says crime rates can fall and governments still default to police as the answer to everything. Officials agreed and announced a new principle: Evidence-Based Decision Making, which will be applied immediately after the election, budget and the next media cycle.

To show momentum, a parliamentary working group was formed with three subcommittees: Care, Force and Which One Looks Better On A Poster.

One invented official quote was provided by “a spokesperson”: “We absolutely support care-led responses… once care can demonstrate measurable outcomes per dollar and a safe colour palette for the launch tiles.”