CANBERRA – Department of Defence has announced a fresh milestone in Indigenous procurement, confirming it has once again exceeded targets and immediately scheduled a celebratory press conference to exceed targets about exceeding targets.
Officials said the new “record” demonstrates “meaningful economic participation”, as a branded backdrop repeatedly reminded attendees that the milestone was historic, world-leading and extremely shareable.
The announcement was delivered beside a digital counter that ticked upward in real time. When asked how the counter worked, a spokesperson confirmed it was powered by “vibes, invoices and a very committed communications team”.
“Every dollar represents a stronger future,” the spokesperson said, while unveiling a limited-edition lanyard reading I WAS THERE WHEN THE TARGET WAS MET.
Defence confirmed the next phase will focus on “deepening authenticity”, including a new verification pathway where suppliers can self-identify as Indigenous-owned by selecting Yes (Deadly) on an online form and uploading a photo of a gumleaf.
A new taskforce will also be established to address community questions about who benefits, how ownership is verified and whether “record spend” equals “record impact”.
“That’s why we’re launching the Impact Measurement of Impact Measurement Framework” a senior official said. “It will measure how our measurement makes everyone feel.”
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