Statue Of Man Who Pointed At His Own Skin To Be Replaced By Statue Of Woman Who Owns The Dirt It’s Standing On

In a move officials described as “streamlining the stadium’s commemorative footprint” VenuesWest confirmed Thursday that the bronze statue of Noongar footballer Nicky Winmar will be replaced by a statue of mining magnate Gina Rinehart, honouring her lifelong contribution of being born into the family that already owned the ground.

“Nicky’s statue celebrated a bloke pointing at his skin and saying he was proud of it, which is lovely… but it doesn’t move iron ore” a spokesperson said, unveiling concept art of a twelve-metre Rinehart pointing at a spreadsheet. “Ms Rinehart’s statue celebrates something far more enduring — inheriting several hundred thousand square kilometres of the Pilbara without ever having to point at anything.”

The new plaque will reportedly read: “In recognition of commodity prices.”

Aunty Deb, a Noongar elder who attended the original 2019 unveiling, said she wasn’t shocked. “First they took the land, then the football, now they’re taking the fella who pointed at the land” she said. “Deadset, only thing they’ve handed back is a parking fine.”

At press time, the Rinehart statue had already lodged a formal request to be relocated somewhere less visible after seeing how it looked from the front.