Crocodile Dundee Confirms The “Real Aussie” She’s Pining For Would’ve Reckoned She Was A Pelican

In a blow to Pauline Hanson’s nostalgia campaign, the very larrikin archetype she wishes to “bring back” has reportedly sized her up and dismissed her with the most devastating verdict in the Australian language: “Yeah, nah. She’s a pelican.”

The laconic icon (famous for taking the piss, standing no ceremony and judging a person by whether they’re a good sort rather than where they’re from) was said to be thoroughly unimpressed by a humourless campaign run entirely on grievance.

“That’s the bit she’s got backwards…” said Quandamooka man Wes. “The ‘real Aussie’ larrikin she’s romanticising (the give-everyone-a-fair-go, don’t-take-yourself-too-serious, laugh-at-the-big-noters type) that bloke would’ve called her a pelican to her face. The actual Aussie spirit is the opposite of her.”

Wes noted the larrikin tradition had deep local roots. “Taking the mickey, cutting down the tall poppy, looking after your mob no matter who they are — we been running that humour 65,000 years… She wants the hat and the swagger but skipped the values. Dundee’d share a beer with the whole street. She wants half the street gone.”

He grinned. “Yeah, nah. She’s a pelican. Tru gawd.”