Non-Indigenous Businesses Devastated By New Rule Requiring Indigenous Businesses To Be, Technically, Indigenous

A number of non-Indigenous companies are reeling this week after the government introduced a radical new requirement that businesses winning Indigenous contracts must actually be owned and run by Indigenous people.

The rule (that firms accessing the Indigenous Procurement Policy be 51 per cent or more First Nations owned and controlled) has been branded “unfair” by outfits that had, until now, been enthusiastically Aboriginal for tender purposes only.

“It’s political correctness gone mad” said one director of a company that is, on inspection, four blokes named Gary. “We put an Aboriginal flag on the website. We named the tender team ‘Reconciliation Solutions.’ How much more First Nations do we need to be?”

“Fifty-one per cent, apparently,” laughed Gomeroi woman Bev. “That’s the funny bit — a rule saying the Aboriginal business has to be Aboriginal and there’s mobs out there genuinely upset about it.” She grinned. “Black cladding, they call it — whitefella business in a Blak jacket, just for the contract… And now they’ve been asked to take the jacket off. Shame job.”

Bev welcomed the change. “For centuries they wanted nothing to do with being Blak. Now there’s a contract in it, suddenly everyone’s got a great-great-nan. Nah. Gammon. Sit down, Gary.”