Mob enters 238th year of confirming current parties suck; welcomes teals to the realisation

First Nations Australia has formally welcomed the teal independents into the long-running national tradition of working out that the major parties are, in technical political-science terms, cooked.

Aunty Margaret, 71, of western NSW, said she was “thrilled” that the member for Warringah had reached the conclusion her grandfather reached in 1947, her mother reached in 1967, she reached in 1972, her kids reached in 1992, and her grandkids reached approximately 11 minutes after their first civics lesson.

“It only took them seven years in parliament” she said. “We did it in about ten minutes on the deck of the Endeavour.”

Steggall told ABC Radio she could now see “many things we could do politics better and differently.” Mob sources confirmed they had been telling Hansard this exact sentence on loop since the Federal Council for the Advancement of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders was founded in 1958, but acknowledged it lands differently when said from a safe seat in Sydney’s lower north shore.

A Barkindji elder offered the teals a starter pack including FCAATSI minutes, the 1972 Tent Embassy founding documents, the Uluru Statement from the Heart and a laminated card that just reads “we told you.”