Pauline Hanson has resurrected Australia’s infamous White Australia Policy with a bold new makeover, branding it “real equality”… because who needs diversity when you can just ignore it?
The One Nation leader’s latest policy promises to dismantle the “corrupt Aboriginal industry” by completely erasing it… and according to Hanson, Indigenous Australians don’t need native title claims, treaties or even their own flag – because nothing says equality like everyone pretending they’re exactly the same.
Pauline’s Genius Guide to “Equality”
- Abolish native title (“It’s time we stopped reminding people about that awkward invasion thing.”)
- Cancel funding for Welcome to Country (“How can we be united if we keep welcoming people who were already here?”)
- Quit the UN and WHO (“We don’t need international bodies judging our top-tier racism.”)
Hanson claims her mandate came from the rejection of the Voice to Parliament referendum in 2023, believing that real equality can be achieved by closing your eyes, blocking your ears and shouting “la-la-la!” whenever history is mentioned.
And according to her logic, if you can’t see inequality, it doesn’t exist – just like how kids hide under blankets from monsters.
“White Australia Policy 2.0: Now with More Denial!”
Critics swiftly named Hanson’s policy “White Australia 2.0” a nostalgic reboot of the 1900s favourite where the solution to discrimination was pretending that discrimination wasn’t a thing.
But Hanson’s refreshed approach is like ignoring your overflowing sink by never entering the kitchen again.
From Jailhouse to Justice Warrior?
Adding spice to her comedic crusade for equality, Hanson – who famously spent 11 weeks behind bars for electoral fraud in 2003 – is now ironically lecturing Australians on fairness… and critics joked she might better understand “privilege” if her parliamentary office was swapped for a caravan in a remote community without running water.
Indigenous leaders (unsurprisingly not laughing) pointed out that pretending everyone is white isn’t unity – it’s denial with a healthy side of delusion… and International observers are watching (popcorn in hand), unsure whether they’re witnessing real policy or a skit from a bad comedy show.
Unity by Ignorance – What Could Go Wrong?
Pauline Hanson insists this plan will unite Australia.
Her theory? If you eliminate all acknowledgment of difference, everyone magically becomes identical – just like a politically incorrect magic trick.
So as Australia gears up for the next election, voters have a choice: Hanson’s fantasyland “equality” or the less hilarious reality of confronting actual issues…
But until then, Hanson’s policy stands as Australia’s funniest, most terrifying attempt yet to ignore problems into nonexistence.
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