Ministers celebrate bold agreement to hold another meeting about previous meetings

In a decisive move for the ages, Indigenous Affairs Minister – the Hon Malarndirri McCarthy – has agreed to meet other Ministers again to discuss what they discussed at the last meeting, which was mostly the next meeting…

Officials hailed the breakthrough as “process at its finest” after a videoconference yesterday (Monday 3 November) where they focused on the National Agreement on Closing the Gap and pre-planning the Joint Council gathering slated for Nipaluna/Hobart on 21 November.

Sources say the historic agenda item “Confirm We Are Still Confirming” passed by consensus after robust debate on whether it should be noted, endorsed or “warmly welcomed with gentle optimism.” A senior departmental spokesperson praised “the momentum of minutes” adding that the real work would happen “once we’ve finalised arrangements for finalising arrangements.”

Ministers also tackled youth justice, food security and the coming high-risk weather season, courageously acknowledging all three exist. One official described the Low-Cost Essentials Subsidy Scheme as “a staple-stabilising instrument” that stabilises staples by calling them stabilised. Another explained the youth justice approach: “We’ll reduce over-representation by increasing the number of times we say ‘reduce over-representation’ per paragraph.”

Victoria’s passage of a statewide treaty bill drew ceremonial nods, with other jurisdictions congratulating the achievement by taking it on notice to consider issuing congratulations in due course. Western Australia and Queensland were represented by officials (proving you can be present without being there) a skill long reserved for line items in forward estimates.

An internal checklist obtained by nobody includes:

• Tick if you mentioned Closing the Gap before the Joint Council.
• Tick if you mentioned the Joint Council before Closing the Gap.
• Tick if you ticked both.