Australians to get GTA6 Before Government Closes A Single Disparity Gap

A video game studio will this November finish constructing a vast, living open world (a whole fictional state with working traffic, an economy, weather and hundreds of thousands of characters going about their day) in less time than it has taken the Australian Government to meet targets it set for itself eighteen years ago.

Grand Theft Auto VI, delayed twice and thirteen years in the making, will reportedly still arrive before a single one of the nation’s “Closing the Gap” goals is reached — a comparison locals found both funny and not.

“Think about it,” said Wiradjuri man Col, holding his pre-order. “Rockstar can model a whole society (roads, hospitals, the lot, all of it working) out of nothing, in a few years. Our mob’s been waiting since 2008 for the real version… and we’re at 4 outta 19 on track.” He shook his head. “A studio on the other side of the world can build a fake hospital that runs better than the funding for a real one out bush.”

Col said he’d enjoy the game anyway. “Oh, I’ll play it, deadly. Just funny, hey — they’ll render every pothole in a made-up city while the Great Western Highway’s still shut and the gap’s still open. Priorities.”