Pauline Hanson, Who Has Warned For 30 Years That Foreign Cultures Threaten ‘Our Women And Children’, Develops Sudden Inability To Locate The Threat…

One Nation leader Pauline Hanson, whose entire career rests on the warning that dangerous outside cultures are coming for Australian women and children, was reportedly unable to comment this week on the long-documented pattern of Australian men travelling to other people’s countries and harming their women and children.

“It’s a very specialised radar” explained a party spokesperson. “Extremely sensitive to anything coming in. Completely blind to anything going out. Top of the range. Only points one way.”

The selective alarm means Hanson can detect a cultural menace in a single newcomer from twelve thousand kilometres off, yet somehow cannot see a pattern carrying a frequent-flyer card and a 237-year head start.

“We been trying to show her the threat to women and children for a long, long time, hey….” said Gomeroi Elder Aunty Margaret. “It started right here. The frontier was never gentle on our women or our kids — that’s the original story, bub… and it’s not a funny one. But every time we point at it, she’s facing the other way, squinting at the horizon for a boat.”

Aunty Margaret sighed. “She’ll protect women and children from everyone except the blokes with the actual record for it. Nah — just gammon. Her radar works fine. It’s just pointed clean past the mirror.”