Masked Men Demanding “Media Accountability” And “Answers” Outside 9News Unable To Account For Their Own Names, Faces… Or Continent

A rally outside the 9News headquarters demanding “media accountability”, “answers” and that the nation “put Australians first” drew puzzlement from local Gadigal man Dion Carriage, who noted the assembled men (several in black balaclavas) were “very keen on transparency for everyone except themselves.”

“Big signs about accountability, demanding answers, the lot… and not one of ’em game to show his own face” said Dion, 36, watching the press conference. “Mate, if you want a mob that turned up uninvited, gave no answers, and was accountable to absolutely no one, I can point you to a fleet that arrived in 1788. Now there’s a media story.”

Dion said he found the “Put Australians First” placard “particularly thoughtful.” “Couldn’t agree more. First Australians, front of the queue — glad we’re finally on the same page,” he said. “Though I get the feeling that’s not quite what the bloke in the balaclava meant.”

At press time, the protesters had demanded the media “tell the truth about who really belongs here,” prompting Dion to offer them “a free 65,000-year history lesson, no balaclava required.”