“Complete” Deal Signed Last Week Already Falling Apart; Mob, Experts In Agreements That Don’t Hold, Are Unsurprised

A US–Iran memorandum signed only last week is already under intense strain — the Strait of Hormuz declared closed again, a Lebanon ceasefire breaking within hours. First Nations people, connoisseurs of agreements that don’t hold, watched without shock.

“Signed last week, unravelling this week” said Uncle Roy Watson, 74. “We are the world’s foremost experts in agreements that fall apart the moment they’re inconvenient. Treaties, promises, ‘we’ll consult,’ ‘we’ll get back to you’ — we’ve got two hundred years of paper that didn’t survive contact with reality. So an MOU dissolving in days? We could’ve told you to read the fine print.”

He kept it careful. “Now, I’m not here to umpire a war overseas — that’s not my place, and there are people on the ground in Lebanon burying their dead this weekend, which is no joke at all. I’m talking about the deal. The grand signing, the handshake, the ‘it’s done.’ We know how loud the announcement is and how quiet the follow-through gets.”

Uncle Roy finished. “A promise is only worth who’s made to keep it, bub. We learned that the hardest way. Some agreements are written to be honoured; others to be photographed. We can usually tell which from the start. True god.”