Mob Reviews “The Art Of The Deal,” Finds It A Derivative Reprint Of Methods Perfected On Them In 1788

With Trump’s dealmaking back in the headlines, First Nations readers revisited his 1987 bestseller The Art of the Deal… and pronounced it competent but wholly unoriginal.

“Read it cover to cover. Two stars” said Professor Denise Walker, a Murri academic, reviewing it for the Institute’s literature desk. “Every technique in here was pioneered on us, centuries earlier… and frankly, executed better.

‘Think big’? They took an entire continent. ‘Use your leverage’? They had the guns and the diseases. ‘Never pay full price’? Bub, they paid nothing. The book’s a tribute act.”

She was particularly underwhelmed by the opening chapters. “‘Maximise your options,’ he says. We got zero options and that’s the advanced course, which isn’t in here. Trump’s still on the beginner module; he at least sits down at a table. The real masters declared the table empty, declared us empty, and signed nothing at all. Terra nullius. No table, no deal, no other party. Now that’s art.”

Professor Walker conceded the prose was tidy. “Well structured… but there’s nothing here a colonial administrator couldn’t have written in 1788 and several did — in the form of cheerful dispatches home about how cheaply it was all going. Skip the book” she advised. “Read the frontier records. Same content. More honest. Gammon bestseller, true god.”