Woman Who Spent 30 Years Warning About People Asking For Handouts Asks Mob For Handouts

In a development blackfellas Australia-wide are describing as “deadset gammon,” One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has launched an urgent appeal begging struggling Australians to hand over their hard-earned, just one day after declaring it “absolutely disgusting” for anyone to ask struggling Australians to hand over their hard-earned.

The campaign, Fire the Liar, asks supporters doing it tough in a cost-of-living crisis to chip in $29 — a figure analysts say was carefully chosen to be exactly $2 more outraged than Labor’s $27.

“For thirty years this woman’s told us we get too much for nothing” said Aunty Lorraine Cobby, watching the real-time donation counter tick over from her kitchen. “Now she’s the one with her hand out and a little thermometer on the website. Where’s her mutual obligation, ay? Reckon she should have to ring a number every fortnight and prove she’s looking for a real job.”

Hanson defended the appeal, explaining that money she asks for is “patriotic contributions” while money other people ask for is “absolutely disgusting handouts,” and that the difference, while invisible to the naked eye, is very real.

At time of print the counter had reached $461,000, none of it (sources confirmed) classified as a handout.