Townsville Mayor Demonstrates Tough-On-Youth-Crime Message By Allegedly Flogging A Bloke At The Pub

The Mayor of Townsville (tireless campaigner against “feral youth” and “out-of-control violence”) has reportedly delivered a powerful hands-on workshop on out-of-control violence at an island pub over the weekend.

“Beautiful leadership, that…” said Bindal man Kyle Prior, who has watched the mayor blame Aboriginal kids for everything short of the weather. “He’s always on about ‘consequences’ and ‘respect.’ Then he allegedly cracks some fella at the bar on a Sunday. Deadly role model. Real consistent.”

For years, local youth (disproportionately Black) have been told one mistake will define them, that they must “take accountability” and that the courts will throw the book at them. The mayor (by contrast) is enjoying the time-honoured adult justice system of “look, just leave it, ay…”

“If a 14-year-old Murri kid did exactly what he’s accused of doing” said Prior, “there’d be a curfew, a CCTV upgrade and a bloke flying up to stand in front of a Maccas looking concerned. The mayor does it and it’s a ‘brouhaha.’ Love that for him.”

The mayor has neither confirmed nor denied the incident, which experts note is the exact accountability he demands of children…