Cricket Australia has responded to the national side’s ODI series defeat to Pakistan by unveiling a new high-performance program called “Everybody Point Somewhere Different And Hope.”
The initiative follows what officials described as a “horror mix-up”, known to backyard cricketers as “oi, I thought you said run” and to aunties on the sideline as “serves you right for not listening.”
Under the new system, players will complete drills in which three batters yell “yes”, two yell “no”, one yells “maybe after lunch” and a commentator explains it was actually a leadership problem dating back to 1997.
Cricket Australia’s review panel said the loss was disappointing but praised the team’s commitment to creating content for morning radio.
“We believe the boys showed great character by collapsing in a way that allowed every former opener with a podcast to feel needed” a spokesperson said.
Local mob watching from the cheap seats said they were impressed a single mistake could trigger national grief so quickly.
“Imagine if housing policy got this much analysis after dropping a catch” one uncle said.
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