CANBERRA – Federal politicians have marked the 27th anniversary of National Sorry Day by gathering in private rooms across Parliament House to feel extraordinarily sorry for themselves, sources confirmed yesterday…
The bipartisan day of self-pity reportedly involved senior ministers reflecting on the deep personal toll of having to deliver Acknowledgements of Country, the emotional labour of being photographed beside Elders and the ongoing trauma of being asked follow-up questions by journalists.
“It’s been a really difficult journey, one minister was overheard telling a staffer, dabbing at his eyes with a printed copy of his own media release. “People don’t understand how much of myself I put into reading these speeches aloud.”
The Prime Minister led the nation in a moment of silence, which was later clarified to be a moment of silence about his approval rating…
Several Coalition MPs took the opportunity to apologise for being misunderstood, for being misquoted and for the unfair scrutiny their voting records continue to attract. One backbencher reportedly issued a heartfelt apology to himself for ever supporting the Voice for the brief period in 2023 when it polled well.
A spokesperson for the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet said the day had been “deeply meaningful” and confirmed the government remained committed to feeling exactly this sorry again next year.
The Stolen Generations could not be reached for comment, as they were busy doing the actual work of holding their families together for another year while waiting for the apology to translate into something.
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