Mob yarn: New Bosses Get The Treaty Keys Just In Time For Some Other Mob To Change The Locks

MELBOURNE, VIC – The First Peoples’ Assembly of Victoria has elected two new co-chairs to lead Australia’s first Treaty body for the next four years, or until the next election, whichever comes first.

The newly elected co-chairs were sworn in on Dja Dja Wurrung Country on Wednesday, where they immediately began the four-year term that the state Opposition has confirmed it will reduce to six months and a press release.

A senior community source described the moment as historic.

“It only took eight years of consultation, two governments, four reports, one referendum loss and a state Treaty Bill to get here,” the source said. “And now we just have to get past November before the whole thing goes back into the box it came in.”

The Coalition’s election pledge has been welcomed by voters who argue the Treaty would not help close the gap, including several voters who were last week shocked to discover Closing the Gap had been a thing for fifteen years.

A Coalition spokesperson confirmed the party’s first 100 days would include abolishing the Assembly, repealing the Treaty Bill, and discovering what either of those documents contained.

“We are firmly opposed to the Assembly delivering anything we haven’t read yet,” the spokesperson said.

In contrast, the federal government has reaffirmed its commitment to Closing the Gap with a 2026 Implementation Plan, a 2027 Implementation Plan-Planning Plan, and the recent Closing the Gap Implementation Plan Closing Ceremony.

The new co-chairs say they are focused on the work ahead.

“We are here to advocate for our communities,” one said. “And to laminate everything.”