WASHINGTON DC – King Charles III delivered a state address to the United States Congress this week in which he advocated for the AUKUS submarine pact “as Sovereign of Australia” reigniting debate over how a man who lives 17,000 kilometres away can make foreign policy commitments on behalf of a country he has visited fewer times than most Australians have been to Bali.
The visit was briefly interrupted when D.C. officials accidentally hung 15 Australian flags around the White House instead of the Union Jack – an oversight several constitutional law experts described as “actually pretty accurate, given the situation…”
Charles, head of state of both the United Kingdom and Australia, is understood to have switched seamlessly between his two roles during the banquet, gifting President Donald Trump a Royal Navy bell while pledging Australian taxpayer money to a submarine program nobody in Australia voted for.
“The King’s ability to advocate for Australian strategic interests is impressive” said one Buckingham Palace insider. “Especially considering Australian strategic interests typically involve not having a King.”
The visit has drawn renewed attention to the Australian Republic Movement which celebrated its 35th consecutive year of being told now is “not really the right time.”
Indigenous commentators noted with interest that the British Crown still holds sovereignty over the lands of more than 250 First Nations – despite never having been ceded, signed off on or in most cases even visited.
“It’s nice to see the King working hard for Australia” said one Bourke local. “Last time the Crown turned up here we lost everything. So it’s good he’s keeping his distance.”
Charles is expected to return to Buckingham Palace before any Australian Prime Minister is permitted to deliver a major foreign policy address on home soil.
“The flag mix-up highlights how interchangeable our two countries appear when one of them is doing all the deciding.” – DFAT spokesperson
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