AFL Sacks Appeals Board KC for Confirming What Indigenous Players Have Been Saying for Fifty Years

MELBOURNE – The AFL has sacked the chair of its own appeals board after the board reduced a player’s homophobia ban from seven weeks to two, noting in writing that racist, sexist and homophobic language is “commonplace” on the field.

Indigenous players around the country have welcomed the sacking while expressing surprise that anyone in the league offices is only just hearing about this.

“We’ve been telling you blokes since Nicky Winmar lifted his jumper” said one Indigenous footballer who asked not to be named because he is mid-career. “Adam Goodes literally retired over it. Eddie Betts wrote a book. Heritier Lumumba sued you. We could have saved everyone a lot of trouble if we’d just printed it on the back of the Sherrin.”

AFL boss Greg Swann issued a strongly worded statement that the appeals board’s findings did not reflect the AFL’s values – before being quietly reminded that the appeals board was an AFL body and therefore a definitionally accurate reflection of AFL values.

The lawyer at the centre of the decision is reportedly seeking work elsewhere. Industry insiders are tipping a smooth transition into a senior advisory role on Indigenous procurement at a Top 4 consulting firm.

A new appeals board chair will be appointed shortly. Sources indicate the new chair will be required to demonstrate before taking up the role that they have heard of an Aboriginal person other than the one pictured in their organisation’s RAP brochure.

“We take racism extremely seriously. Except when it is commonplace, which apparently it is.” – AFL Spokesperson