CANBERRA – Opposition Leader Angus Taylor has unveiled a landmark immigration policy requiring new arrivals to align with “Australian values” or face deportation, in what he describes as a long-overdue push to protect the national character.
Mob across the country responded with measured confusion noting that the list of protected values had yet to be shared with the people whose values the country was allegedly built upon.
“We’ve been waiting 237 years for someone to define Australian values and we’re still not on the drafting committee” said a local Aboriginal land council chair. “Every time we suggest sharing or reciprocity or caring for country or not burning down someone’s village for retribution they tell us we’re being divisive.”
Former prime minister Paul Keating stepped in to describe Mr Taylor as unworthy of leadership and pointed out the policy was a racism import from Donald Trump’s America. Blackfullas noted that Mr Keating also gave the Redfern Speech in 1992 and the gap remains wide open 34 years later.
The policy allows deportation for those who fail to align with values including mateship and a fair go. Community members observed these values were last consistently applied during the 1967 referendum and sporadically at best since.
A Coalition strategist confirmed the values list was “still being workshopped” but would definitely not include land back or truth-telling or returning the annual Indigenous affairs spend to community-controlled organisations.
One Nation expressed support for the policy while simultaneously requesting that the seats of Narungga and Ngadjuri be renamed to something more in line with Australian values.
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