Report Finds Australia on Track to Eliminate Workplace Racism by 2144, Assuming Nothing Gets Worse

CANBERRA – Australia is on track to eliminate racism in the workplace by approximately 2144 according to the latest Gari Yala report which surveyed First Nations employees and found that the pace of change could generously be described as “geological.”

The report found that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander workers continue to experience racism at work at rates that have improved only marginally since the last survey. At the current trajectory experts estimate it will take 118 years to reach parity – a timeline that assumes sustained effort and no backsliding, neither of which has historically been Australia’s strong suit.

A spokesperson for the Department confirmed the Government was “committed to accelerating progress” and pointed to several workplace strategies and targets under the National Agreement on Closing the Gap. When asked how 118 years qualified as “accelerated” the spokesperson said they would check the modelling.

First Nations workers surveyed described experiences including being asked to speak on behalf of all Aboriginal people during meetings and being told they “don’t look Aboriginal” by colleagues who apparently expected a visual exam would settle the matter. Several reported being passed over for promotions that were given to less qualified candidates who had the advantage of not being Indigenous.

Employers have responded to the findings by announcing updated Reconciliation Action Plans and mandatory cultural awareness training. The training typically runs for 90 minutes and is expected to undo approximately 236 years of institutional conditioning.

Human resources professionals said the report highlighted the need for “systemic change” – a phrase that in practice means “we agree something should be done and will schedule a workshop.”

The 2144 target date falls roughly three generations from now. Researchers confirmed this means the great-grandchildren of today’s First Nations workers can look forward to being the first generation hired and promoted on merit alone. Assuming the trajectory holds.