Chris Bowen Assures Australians Fuel Is Fine – From The Back Of A Pushbike 🚲⛽

SYDNEY – Energy Minister Chris Bowen has moved to calm fears about Australia’s worsening fuel supply crisis by holding a press conference in which he assured the nation everything was perfectly under control – before climbing onto a bicycle and riding slowly away.

“Fuel supplies are secure” said Bowen while gesturing broadly at nothing in particular. “Australians should feel confident that when they pull into their local servo – assuming the servo has fuel – there will be fuel there – or very nearly.”

The minister has been accused of being “asleep at the wheel” by the opposition after several states reported “unacceptable” fuel shortages this week linked to supply chain disruptions from the ongoing US-Israel-Iran conflict.

When asked whether importing oil from a region currently being bombed by America was perhaps a flawed long-term strategy the minister paused for approximately eight seconds before saying “energy transition.”

Out west a tradie named Dazza summed up the national mood: “Mate I drove 40 minutes to find a servo with unleaded. Forty minutes. In a V8. Which I now cannot refill.”

Bowen said the government was monitoring the situation closely and would continue to do so. He was then photographed eating a salad.

The opposition called for a Senate inquiry. One Nation called for coal. The Greens called for everyone to have a bicycle. A grandmother in Dubbo called for common sense but nobody in Canberra heard her over the sound of their own voices.

Meanwhile a 13-year-old boy in Queensland reportedly swam four kilometres to get help for his family and still made it home before the fuel crisis was resolved.