Virginia Lawmakers Stunned To Learn ‘Racial Integrity’ Law Not Actually Very Integral

Virginia legislators have expressed sincere shock on discovering that their state’s infamous 1924 “Racial Integrity Act” – designed to erase Native identity – might, in hindsight, have been a smidge racist.

“We had no idea a law requiring people to tick ‘white’ or ‘coloured’ and banning Indigenous identity on paper could cause long‑term harm,” said one lawmaker, straightening a portrait of the bloke who wrote it. “Thankfully we are now brave enough to acknowledge that some aspects may have been slightly not ideal.”

Tribal leaders, who have been pointing this out for about a century, welcomed the breakthrough in human perception.

“It’s great they’re finally listening,” said one. “We look forward to the next exciting step where they do something.”

The state has pledged education, sovereignty discussions and a range of other actions carefully worded in the future tense.

“We’re committed to healing” the lawmaker said. “We’re just not committing any dates, resources or specific outcomes at this time. It’s important not to rush reconciliation; after all, we’ve only had 100 years.”