Government Attends Indigenous Jobs Gathering, Shocked To Learn Work Requires Houses, Internet, Not Being Racist

Officials attending a national Indigenous Skills and Employment Training gathering were stunned to discover that jobs in Indigenous communities sometimes require basic things like transport, housing, childcare and employers who don’t panic at the sight of a surname they can’t pronounce.

“We came ready to talk about résumés,” said one bureaucrat. “Then these Métis and First Nations organisations started talking about actually fixing the conditions people live in. It was very confronting.”

Presenters outlined wild concepts such as reliable broadband, culturally safe workplaces and training programs longer than a photo opportunity.

“We thought the barrier to employment was an attitude problem,” the bureaucrat admitted. “Turns out the barrier is reality.”

Despite the shock, the government promised to take the feedback seriously by commissioning a glossy report titled Pathways to Listening, Maybe.

Métis representatives say they’ll keep pushing.

“Indigenous people don’t lack skills,” one organiser said. “We lack patience for being told to bootstrap ourselves while someone else holds the boots.”