Job Applicant David Pouchet Brings Clipboard to Interviews, Threatens Audits over Misplaced Punctuation

In an unprecedented move shaking up hiring managers across Queensland, seasoned WHS Coordinator David Pouchet has started bringing a clipboard and a fluorescent safety vest to his job interviews, openly threatening to audit any misplaced punctuation.

“One incorrectly dotted ‘I’ or missing crossed ‘T’ can spiral a workplace into grammatical chaos,” Pouchet declared, meticulously highlighting typos in company literature during interviews. “If they can’t ensure linguistic safety, how can they manage physical safety?”

Reportedly, one interviewer nervously asked Pouchet about his greatest strength, only to be subjected to a twenty-minute PowerPoint presentation titled “The Hidden Dangers of Punctuation Neglect”.

And another HR manager claims Pouchet performed an emergency “grammar drill”, demanding that all staff immediately drop their pens and step away from their keyboards after spotting a comma splice in a company memo.

Employers remain wary yet intrigued… and some speculate that hiring Pouchet might reduce workplace incidents by eliminating poor grammar distractions, while others fear they’ll end up with mandatory weekly spelling bees disguised as safety briefings…