In a shocking revelation, the billionaire founder of the Minderoo Foundation has publicly criticized his PR team for failing to mine positive media coverage, despite having unlimited resources at their disposal.
“I literally dig money out of the earth from stolen land” fumed the billionaire at a recent company meeting, reportedly slamming his gold-plated fist on a sustainably sourced mahogany table.
“Yet my PR people can’t seem to extract even a tiny nugget of goodwill from the press? Where’s the ROI in this?”
When asked if perhaps his foundation’s activities or his fortune made from large-scale mining might complicate his image, the billionaire scoffed.
“Nonsense. You can polish anything if you spend enough on PR. Isn’t that their whole job?”
A senior PR executive, who requested anonymity, lamented – “We’ve tried everything, press releases about ocean clean-ups, planting trees, even photoshoots of him gently holding endangered marsupials… but the media just won’t bite.”
At press time, the billionaire was reportedly considering a radical new approach: paying journalists directly in gold bars to “dig up better news”.
Discover more from I-News
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
